How Do I Go Hard For My Hustle and My Husband?
If your life is anything like mine, you probably have a number of items on your list which may include: working a nine to five, going to school, volunteering on a regular basis, participating in church ministry, managing a side hustle, coaching clients, and spending quality time with the one that matters most – your husband. Not to mention, if you’re a mom you can add double the amount to your daily schedule and responsibilities.
If you can relate, then you probably feel just as blessed as I do knowing that your husband, your boyfriend, or your man is right there by your side supporting you. But if I were to be transparent, I can admit that there are times when you feel as if you’re neglecting your friends and family, let alone the most important person in your life. So, what do you do? Here’s what has worked for my husband and I, and what I try to do to effectively manage time spent between my hustle and my husband.
1. Make sacrifices – on both sides.
Living out your dreams and living on purpose comes with hard work and sacrifices – late nights, early mornings, financial investments, meetings and conference calls, client meetings, events, excessive tiredness…the list goes on and on. Unfortunately, the one who feels the brunt of it the most are your family and friends. There have been plenty of days and nights when we’ve had to forego quality time to ensure a certain task or project was completed. However, my husband and I have learned to only make certain sacrifices knowing that they will only be temporary or will cause little turbulence within the marriage. We understand that sacrifices need to be made, but they won’t be made at the expense of sacrificing our marriage.
2. Learn the power of saying “no.”
As a married woman, I am very cognizant about how much I divvy up my time between my husband, friends, work, and the hustle. For me, that means saying no: “No, I can’t make it to that event,” or “No, I can’t hang out with my girls tonight.” It’s about setting boundaries not only for my husband, but for the sake of my own sanity as well. Other times, it’s simply a matter of making adjustments. I’m learning, and all of us have to learn, how to prioritize what’s important for our homes and the hustle.
3. Join in or find a way for your spouse to be part of the hustle.
Although there are times when I know Eric would rather be at home watching sports or CNN, there are occasions when he will take one for the team and join me at certain events. Last year, he, along with his parents, joined me at the Decatur Book Festival and we had a great and lovely time. He will help me setup or sell my products and materials, help record some of my speaking engagements, or simply just be there to show his support. When it makes the most sense, we try to do things together. Whether it’s for a business trip or just to show up and support, we have found ways to show up and support each other.
4. Be intentional about spending time with each other.
As much as we’re intentional about setting meetings, events, or scheduling travel, we have to be just as intentional about making time for each other. Date nights and date days are critical for everyone, regardless if you have a side hustle or not. When I feel like we’ve been too busy, or we haven’t been spending enough quality time together, then we will purposefully set aside some quality time for each other. Sometimes you have to remind yourself and re-prioritize your life to ensure you take care of what’s most important. Moreover, it shows our spouses that we haven’t forgotten (nor do we intend to) about them and their needs.
5. Make up for missing out.
I remember one night when my husband came home and I told him I was going to do a little writing first and then fix dinner. A few hours passed, late into the night, and I was still in front of my computer and caught up in my writing trance. Needless to say, he had to fend for himself, which he didn’t mind of course, but I felt extremely bad because I allowed so much time to pass before I even realized how late it was. Nevertheless, I woke up bright and early the next morning (and I am not a morning person), and unbeknownst to him I prepared a nice and lovely breakfast for him. He was so appreciative, and even though he reminded me that it wasn’t necessary I wanted to do it because I wanted him to know how much I value him and our time together.
It’s inevitable – things happen and sometimes plans don’t always go as we’d like, but we can always try to turn those failed plans into something positive. The fact that I showed him how intentional I was about making time for him was a friendly reminder of how much I cared. As I mentioned earlier, all of us have to make sacrifices on both sides, and that’s what you call love in action.
No Comments